Run, Trip, Fly, Stumble…And Repeat…Two More Times

As I sit in my writer’s nook (er, kitchen) with a delicious mango martini, I thought I’d indulge you with a tale that might make you think twice before going for an early morning run.  Now, let’s forget about the fact that my body should be all relaxed right now, considering we just returned from a family vacation to Disney.

Just as an aside, I’m presently enjoying the sunshine streaming through the windows.  I waited over a week to see the sun.  FYI, Florida in April is very hit or miss.  See this picture?  It’s about as close to the water the kids got while we were away because it was FREEZING!  And in case you were wondering, they’re not all mine…three is my limit.  =)


Anyway, I digress.  One of the things that made our vacation so utterly unforgettable was the fact that two-thirds of our clan were plagued with strep throat and ear infections.  Just delightful.  To make matters worse, the final third is on the brink.  So last night he graced us with his presence.  Little guy, big-time back pain.  He sprawled himself all over me throughout the night – over my head, on my back, at my feet, under my arm.  Just about anywhere he could finagle his little body.

This morning I woke up feeling like I was in traction.  I figured I should go for a run to loosen up, you know?  Sounded good in theory.  But the ground was slippery after an early-morning shower.  And my muscles were already sore and not as responsive as they’d normally be.  That sidewalk crack sure looked a lot more shallow from a distance…

But I was airborne before I realized what was happening.  When I landed, about ten feet forward, I felt like a car with rear-wheel drive.  I  finally skidded to a halt in front of a house with an open garage door.  Fantastic.  At least the owner had the decency not to roll onto the ground in hysterics as I sailed past.

Half a mile later, I tripped over a tree branch in a failed attempt to escape a colony of ants.  Real slick, Kris.  This time, I didn’t have an audience.  But as I flew into the air, the rather fully-bloomed branch of some flowering tree smacked the brim of my baseball cap, splashing what seemed like a cup full of water at my face.

My contact lens popped out because of the unexpected pool filling my eye. I left it somewhere en route, running with one good eye the remainder of the way.  Argh.

Now, was it really my aching body to blame for all these mishaps?  If I hadn’t been practically crippled, might I have been able to avoid near-disaster this morning?  Possibly.  In the meantime, I will be thankful that I returned relatively unscathed with two working hands, each more than able to raise my martini glass.


Still Waiting For The Fun Part To Begin

I had high hopes for today. Anticipated precipitation morphed into a 75-degree morning. Got my workout done early so I could gather my bearings before the kiddies appeared on the scene. All packed up for a day at the shore, well before Lulu and I had to leave for tumbling. All of the makings for a promising day. Until everything came skidding to a literal halt.

With five minutes to spare, Lulu and I were driving to the gym, belting out “Let It Go” by Adele Nazeem (LOL) at the tops of our lungs. I was caffeinated and looking forward to the one hour of peace and quiet I get during the week. But the universe had other plans.

Just as an aside, I love it when I’M the one in control of the universe. It’s way more fun that way. But we’re not talking about one of my books here.

The sound of the explosion nearly made me drive off the road. Who the hell shot at my freaking car? Oh wait…that wasn’t a gunshot. It was my damn tire.

So before I got to the fun part of the day, I sat on the phone with GEICO for half an hour, waited for an hour in a CVS parking lot for my tow, missed tumbling, and paid for a new tire.

Still waiting for the fun part to begin. But I’m hopeful…I’ve got some friends who can cushion the blow. No pun intended.


It’s Not Really A Party Unless You’re Defending Your Living Room Against The Chitauri


Today is full of hearts and love and happiness but it goes beyond the celebration of Valentine’s Day.

Three years and a few weeks ago, I made a call to make February 14 George’s birth date.  I hated the idea, but didn’t have a lot of options.  C-sections are no joke and anyone within her right mind is going to pick a date when the best doctor in the practice is on duty.  That date happened to be Valentine’s Day.

I eventually warmed to the idea, convinced I was having a girl.  She’ll love her birthday!  And we’ll name her Mia Valentina!  How cute would that be?  I embraced the day, rolling into the hospital clad in a red velour sweatsuit.  But alas, I had a boy, a perfect, precious darling little guy.  And I guarantee HE won’t appreciate sharing his special day with Cupid in a few years.

But right now, George is content to share it with his fellow Avengers, Captain “Cooper” America and Lulu the Black Widow.  Cake, costumes, shields, presents and defense of our home against the Chitauri.  Life cannot possibly get any more grandiose for this three year-old.

As for our Valentine’s Day celebration?  Well, we can just table the romance for AFTER the kiddies go to bed.  =)

I Left My Beloved Laptop In A Fitting Room Yesterday…Senility Is Setting In Sooner Than Anticipated


I would say that I get one solid hour of stress-free, uninterrupted writing time per week.  That doesn’t mean I only write during that one hour; it only means that I don’t have seven other things cooking simultaneously.  I can’t tell you how much I love this time.  My daughter throws back handsprings.  I type.  Hard and fast.  Generates a lot of curious stares.  Sometimes a few comments.

Yesterday was no exception.  I churned out pages and pages of backstory.  Smiling, sighing, giggling, clapping.  It was a super-productive tumbling class.  But instead of celebrating the completion of a very challenging storyline once I got home, I nearly had a coronary.

My laptop was gone.  Not in the car, not in the house.  Not ANYWHERE.

My heart literally stopped for a few seconds…until I called Justice and found out I left it in the fitting room.  As an aside, I never leave my laptop on the car because I’m afraid someone will break in and steal it.  Ironic, huh?

I haven’t fully recovered…the palpitations have slowed but I’m still reeling.  Even three glasses of wine did nothing to settle my nerves.  I should have opted for the vodka.

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