I Got Sucked In…And Then Suffocated In Lena Dunham’s Horrific Ruffled Tiers

Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

I dozed off on the couch earlier.  It felt soooo good…until Hubby pounced on me, demanding that I give the kids a bath.  Just to let you know, I loathe bath time.  It entails a lot of splashing, yelling, screaming, and SPLASHING.  And I just don’t have patience, not when I was up at 4:30 AM and on a bus to NYC shortly afterwards. Nope.  Not in the mood.  At ALL.

Instead, I wanted to stay plastered in front of the TV, watching the Emmys.  Why?  Because I get sucked in by the fashion…most of which leaves me scratching my head, mumbling, “What the eff was she THINKING?  And how the hell does her stylist get work?  Do Hollywood stylists need to pass a test for having the absolute worst taste EVER?”

Case in point…Lena Dunham, WHY???  You know the phrase “there are no words?”  Well, in this case, there are too MANY to list.  Let the photo speak for itself.

Courtesy of TODAY.com

Courtesy of TODAY.com

Kerry Washington, however, is absolutely stunning.  I adore her dress, especially the blingy shorts underneath.  So awesome.  Orange is totally the new black.  =)

Courtesy of HuffingtonPost.com

Courtesy of HuffingtonPost.com

And Sarah Silverman…before you rushed the stage to accept your award, you must have said a prayer that your boobies didn’t slip out of that freaking ugly excuse for a dress.  And you’re so classy too, showing off your marijuana vaporizer pen to the world.  Seriously?  What the hell is this world coming to?

Courtesy of PerezHilton.com

Courtesy of PerezHilton.com

It’s All About The Cover…And The Eye Candy On Display

Regardless of the publishing method I ultimately choose for Unlikely Venture, one thing is certain.  I need a cover.  But not just “a cover” – the right cover, the one that will stop potential readers and cause them to click into my virtual world so they can determine if my story is worth their time and money.

So many romance novels have covers graced with half-naked swarthy tanned males with pecs that seem to ripple as you stare at them.  Sometimes, they include the half-naked female counterpart as well, whose very perky boobs are usually popping out of her dress, ready to wave hello.  Just as an interesting aside, very rarely, if at all, do you see a heroine by herself on a romance cover…?

Every book and article I’ve read on the subject stresses the fact that the cover is equally as important as “the blurb,” especially if a potential reader is purchasing an e-book.  Of course, you can always sneak in some free sample content to gently nudge them toward a purchase.  But really, readers need to be sold on the eye candy.

I don’t want to go against the grain here, but I’ve always preferred a different type of cover, one full of innuendo.  I want to create the images of the characters as I read; I don’t want to be told what they look like.  I prefer the use of inanimate objects over flesh to convey the mystery of what lays within the pages of a romance novel.  I don’t need heaving breasts to tell me that there will be intimacy laced into the story.  It’s a romance novel so I expect it!

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