The Famous Hervé Leger Bandage Dress…And No, You Can’t Wear Spanx Underneath

In my past life, the one I refer to as “B.C.S,” 60% off and Hervé Leger would be a magically dreamy combination.  Just FYI, “B.C.S.” stands for Before C-Section.

Courtesy of Neiman Marcus
Courtesy of Neiman Marcus

Now, those sales only depress me.

Don’t be fooled.  Hervé Leger’s iconic “hold you in” bandage dress is NOT a miracle corset, no matter what anyone tells you.  They may push your assets up but they don’t hide ANYTHING.  If you have any bit of a bulge (and one too many C-sections will most assuredly result in one of those), save yourself the imminent disappointment and find an empire-waisted option.

Normal childbirth didn’t destroy my midsection.  I had a slammin’ body after Lulu was born.  It’s true, though a little narcissistic.  I looked so much better than I ever did before kids.  And since I was only 31, I barely had to do anything to maintain my figure.  Ahh, the good old days when I actually HAD a metabolism…

But things are very different now.  Lulu’s dramatic entrance pretty much guaranteed that C-sections would become my preferred delivery method in the future.  Next came Cooper, then came George, whose birth clinched the reality that my pre-C-section body was gone forever.  I can do T25 from now until Kingdom come and it has essentially no impact on my stomach.  Couple that with age, and Hervé Leger becomes a fond but distant memory.

It’s okay, though.  I’ve come to terms with it.  I just focus on accentuating other areas now…areas which haven’t been devastated in the aftermath of childbirth and half-hearted attempts to nurse.

I have to admit that every so often, it would be nice to take advantage of those damned sales now that I can actually afford the dresses!

Life’s just full of jagged little pills, you know?

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