Run, Trip, Fly, Stumble…And Repeat…Two More Times

As I sit in my writer’s nook (er, kitchen) with a delicious mango martini, I thought I’d indulge you with a tale that might make you think twice before going for an early morning run.  Now, let’s forget about the fact that my body should be all relaxed right now, considering we just returned from a family vacation to Disney.

Just as an aside, I’m presently enjoying the sunshine streaming through the windows.  I waited over a week to see the sun.  FYI, Florida in April is very hit or miss.  See this picture?  It’s about as close to the water the kids got while we were away because it was FREEZING!  And in case you were wondering, they’re not all mine…three is my limit.  =)

Anyway, I digress.  One of the things that made our vacation so utterly unforgettable was the fact that two-thirds of our clan were plagued with strep throat and ear infections.  Just delightful.  To make matters worse, the final third is on the brink.  So last night he graced us with his presence.  Little guy, big-time back pain.  He sprawled himself all over me throughout the night – over my head, on my back, at my feet, under my arm.  Just about anywhere he could finagle his little body.

This morning I woke up feeling like I was in traction.  I figured I should go for a run to loosen up, you know?  Sounded good in theory.  But the ground was slippery after an early-morning shower.  And my muscles were already sore and not as responsive as they’d normally be.  That sidewalk crack sure looked a lot more shallow from a distance…

But I was airborne before I realized what was happening.  When I landed, about ten feet forward, I felt like a car with rear-wheel drive.  I  finally skidded to a halt in front of a house with an open garage door.  Fantastic.  At least the owner had the decency not to roll onto the ground in hysterics as I sailed past.

Half a mile later, I tripped over a tree branch in a failed attempt to escape a colony of ants.  Real slick, Kris.  This time, I didn’t have an audience.  But as I flew into the air, the rather fully-bloomed branch of some flowering tree smacked the brim of my baseball cap, splashing what seemed like a cup full of water at my face.

My contact lens popped out because of the unexpected pool filling my eye. I left it somewhere en route, running with one good eye the remainder of the way.  Argh.

Now, was it really my aching body to blame for all these mishaps?  If I hadn’t been practically crippled, might I have been able to avoid near-disaster this morning?  Possibly.  In the meantime, I will be thankful that I returned relatively unscathed with two working hands, each more than able to raise my martini glass.

Cheers!